


I Don't Wanna be Funny Anymore

by holtzypants



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-10 07:56:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7836547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holtzypants/pseuds/holtzypants
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erin snaps at Holtz during a bust and unknowingly strikes a nerve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Wanna be Funny Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic. I've only ever written comedy sketches before, so any helpful advice is appreciated! :)
> 
> This fic was inspired by Lucy Dacus's song, "I Don't Wanna be Funny Anymore"

The Ghostbusters were out on a call busting some class V malevolent entities who had decided to re-enact a mob hit at Umberto's Clam House in Little Italy. Ectoplasm bullets aren't as deadly as real bullets, but they CAN cause some impressive property damage - especially when they're shooting out of ghostly machine guns. 

The ghosts were giving them a run for their money. Every time they wrangled one with a proton stream, they had to duck and cover to avoid an onslaught of bullets. It took them forever, but they finally contained all of the ghosts, except for one. The remaining ghost was especially feisty. They managed to corner him and lock him down with 3 proton streams, but when Erin tried to add her proton stream to the mix, he wriggled free and launched a heavy table right at her. For Erin, time slowed down. The table flipped towards her in the air in slow motion. She knew she didn't have enough time to move. This was it. This was how she was going to die. Erin Gilbert, the almost tenured PhD. Smashed by a goddamn table in an Italian restaurant while hunting ghosts.

Suddenly the world lurched back into motion. The table hurtled towards Erin, but right before it connected, something hard tackled her to the ground. She felt a puff of air breeze past her as the table whooshed by, narrowly missing her and smashing into bunch of chairs instead. She turned her head to find Holtz, her savior, lying on top of her. Holtz pulled down her googles for a second and winked, before jumping up to help Patty and Abby blast the ghost. Erin collected herself and shakily stood up to join the frey. Together they were finally able to immobilize the ghost long enough to throw out the trap and contain him. Patty and Abby let out whoops of joy and high fived. 

"Take that, ghost! No one messes with my friends!" yelled Patty. 

"Alright! now we can get some wanton soup to celebrate!" exclaimed Abby. 

Erin stood still, trying to catch her breath after the near death experience. She jumped about a foot in the air when she was startled out of her reverie by Holtz, who popped out of nowhere holding the smoking trap and a cannoli. 

"Leave the trap, take the cannoli!" Holtz said, as she took a huge bite out of the cannoli. "Hey, Gilbert! Since I saved your life, you gonna make me an offer I can't refuse later?" she added with a wink. 

"God DAMMIT, Holtz!" Erin yelled. "Can you just be serious for ONE second?! Now is not the time for jokes. We almost DIED! Do you even get that? No. You're over there craking jokes and eating a cannoli!" 

Holtz froze, the smirk disappeared off her face and was relaced with a look of sheer anguish. Erin immediately regretted her words. 

"Wait, Holtz! I'm sorr-" Before she could apologize, Holtz bolted off, gear and all. 

Patty and Abby walked over from where they had been gathering up equipment. 

"What'd you say to Holtzy?" Patty asked. 

"I... I yelled at her for joking around. I know I shouldn't have. I was shaken up because of what happened with the table." 

Abby looked worried, "Oh, Erin... You have to fix this. She's very sensitive about that subject. Wontons can wait. Let's get back to the firehouse so you can make it right with Holtzmann." 

When they got back to the firehouse, Holtzmann was not in her lab. Erin searched every room before heading up to the roof. There she found Holtzmann standing at the far corner of the roof staring at the skyline with her back turned. She slowly walked over to join her. 

"Holtz?" she quereied, while softly touching her shoulder. 

Holtzmann looked up. She looked miserable, and her red rimmed eyes gave away the fact that she had been crying. 

"Leave me alone, Erin." Holtz mumbled, looking away once more.

Erin gently turned her around.

"No, Holtz. I want to fix this. I'm really sorry for what I said to you back at the restaurant. I was just so freaked out, and I wasn't thinking straight. I didn't mean to make you feel like... well, like this. Remember what you said after we saved the city? I feel that way too. You're part of my family, and I like you just the way you are, jokes, mismatched socks, and all."

Holtz was silent for a second and then sighed. "I know you didn't mean it. You just struck a nerve. I never talk about this, but I've always felt like I don't belong. Like..." 

Holtz sniffled, and tears started to trickle down her face. Erin placed her hand over Holtz's and started drawing slow, comforting circles with her thumb. Holtz sucked in a big breath of air, wiped her eyes with her sleeve, and continued in a wavering voice.

"...Like I'm alone in the world, and I just don't fit in. You know? I've been bullied all my life. By my classmates, my family... everyone. I started using jokes as kind of a... deflector shield, and I noticed that when I made people laugh, they wanted to be around me. So that became my thing. I was 'the funny one', the lovable weirdo. I dont..."

"It's okay, take your time." Erin soothed, rubbing Holtz's back with her other hand, while Holtz stared at the ground trying to keep it together.

"I still don't feel like I matter. People laugh at my jokes, but they don't really care about me. They just think I'm a weirdo. I'm not a real person to them. I don't want tobe the funny weirdo anymore. I want to feel like I matter. I just wish I mattered to somebody."

Unable to contain herself any longer, Holtz burst into tears. Erin quickly pulled her into a hug. "Shhhh... It's okay. It's okay. You matter to me."

They sunk to the ground together. Erin held Holtz in her arm and rocked her back and forth, whispering soothing words into her ear until her sobs slowed. Holtz finally sat up and wiped her eyes, sniffling.

"I meant what I said." Erin told her, "You matter to me. You ARE a real person, Holtz. I don't just keep you around for your jokes. You're part of my family, and I lo- like you a lot. I mean I really, uh I like you."

Holtz perked up. "Whaaaaat? Did you just say you love me?"

"N-no! Well yes, but no! like family? I love you like family!" Erin fumbled over her words, blushing furiously.

"Uh huuuuuuuh. Suuure. You think I'm gooorgeous. You want to huuuug me!""

"Shut up! I do not!"

"You want to-"

Holtz was silenced mid-taunt as Erin's lips met hers. Holtz grinned like the Cheshire Cat when they pulled away.

"Yes, I want to kiss you. I know now is not the best time, but do you want to maybe, get dinner with me one night?"

"Are parabolas salty?" Holtz waggled her eyebrows.

Erin just stared at her awkwardly.

"Yes, Gilbert! That's a yes!"

"Alright. Great! Uh, maybe we should head downstairs. Everyone's probably wondering where we are."

Erin turned to leave, but Holtz grabbed her arm.

"Hey, thank you for listening to me, and for saying all that nice stuff." She rubbed the back of her head awkwardly. "It really meant a lot to me."

Erin pulled her in for a hug again.

"Any time. If you ever feel like that again, come talk to me. I'm always happy to listen." 

Erin cleared her throat, "On a lighter note, let's go down and order some dinner before Abby gets hangry!"

They headed off down the stairs with Holtz jumping around excitedly.

"Yeah! Can we order some fried wontons this time? I can't resist those crispy triangles!"


End file.
